The Gundam Pilot's Outlooks on life
by ChibiHotAngel
Summary: Yaoi! I don't own GW! I wrote the sequal! More of a POV from Duo. Next Trowa and Quatre then Wufei!
1. Perfect Soldier Heero Yuy's Tale

Heero's Out Look On Life  
  
June 19, 2002  
  
I'm not special, I'm just a lowly spy/soldier. Infact, you could say I'm not important. I've had people ask me how I keep a straight face when I hear a funny joke or when some one does something stupid. Truth is, I've forgotten how to laugh, cry, and think for myself. It's as if I never knew.  
  
Flash Back  
  
"Hey you!"  
  
I turn to my superior. He nods and I turn around again.  
  
"01."  
  
"Zero One?"  
  
"Yes" I reply.  
  
"Did you see that guy fall on his face?"  
  
I don't reply. I just glare(tm) then walk away.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 21, 2002  
  
I was trained since I was seven. I was taken away from my home and trained to be the perfect soldier. That is my nickname here. The "Perfect Soldier". I don't do anything for myself unless it is in my orders to keep my body in shape. Without orders to live, I would die. I would lose my mask of indifference and become once again the insecure child I was trained from.  
  
Flash Back  
  
"Mommy, Daddy! Help me!"  
  
My mom just stood there with tears of regret streaming down her face. My dad had a look of mortification on his face. In their hands is a 1000 dollar bill, and on their bodies were rags that hung loosely on their thin frames.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 22, 2002  
  
My soldiers mask. It is what keeps me together. I guess you could say that I'm scared to remove it. I have no place in this world. I was trained to ignore pain and on occasion, set my own broken bones. Whatever it takes to complete my mission.  
  
Flash Back  
  
"What do you think you're doing?"  
  
I lay rolling on the ground clutching my leg. I had two wrenches and some electrical tape handy.  
  
*CRACK!!!*  
  
The noise resounds in the small factory. My leg is in a two wrench and tape splint. Not professional, but it will suffice. I just set my broken leg.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 24, 2002  
  
I think my verbal vocabulary has dwindled down to: Mission accepted, mission complete, yes. Failed is not in my vocabulary. I don't speak unless ordered to by my superiors. When I do speak, I talk in a mono-tone voice like reading a grocery list.  
  
Flash Back  
  
My plane goes down. I think of dying in the crash. No. That would show weakness. I push eject and pull the parachute cord. Just in time. I manage a safe landing. Only problem is that I'm in the middle of a desert. When I finally get back to the base, the general only looks at me. I'm a sight to behold. Bleeding from several head wounds and a few miscellaneous cuts on my body. But I am alive and I have work to do. I am late and my punishment is severe.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 25, 2002  
  
I have no emotion. The last time I showed a smile, I was severely beaten. I was eight then. Abused, hardened and trained, I became a machine. The "Perfect Soldier" does not stand up for rights. That is not me. I fight to follow orders and nothing else.  
  
Flash Back  
  
I'm eight now. Still little. I found a puppy. I had just finished a test run in which I had to infiltrate and distroy a building. I'm smiling now. I love my new puppy. I get inside the base.  
  
*SMACK!!!*  
  
I was hit. I try to smile and am hit again. The dog is taken from me. I cry and am beaten. I swear now, that I will never do it again. Smile  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 28, 2002  
  
When the war is done, I will be locked away until the next war. Never moving from a secured room. If I ever got a mind of my own, I would be able to escape easily. In my training I had to be the best. I was trained in anything imaginable and more. I'm strong enough to bend solid steel bars without much effort.  
  
Flash Back  
  
I'm trying to escape. I can't. My instructor pins me to the wooden floor. I feel light headed and dizzy. I can't go on. I must though. Training ends in two more hours and if I slack off more time will be added.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 29, 2002  
  
People fear me. I think it is because of my death glare(tm). They should fear me. Someday I will strike out. I will triumph. I will become human. When I meet someone who is not afraid of me, who cares about me, and who will help me.  
  
Flash Back  
  
I can't say anything. My superior is lecturing me again. I settle for the next best thing and glare(tm). It worked and he looks scared. I pay dearly for my moment of fun and I know when it will start. He reaches behind his back and presses a button. A bunch of burly guards come in and beat me. I feel dead. I wish I was. They take me away for a while, until I can keep my face impassionate.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
June 30, 2002  
  
I wish to God that I could live for myself now, but that time is not today. Please, if you think you can, help me out of this horrible prison. I am only 15 and I know all the horrors of this world. I want to escape this hellish prison. Please, help me bend the unbendable steel bars, break the mental chain.  
  
Flash Back  
  
I was beaten again. This time it was for not getting enough information. If I had stayed until after the explosion, maybe I would've died. No. I have more honor than that. I will not commit suicide. I will die at the hands of an enemy fighting for all I'm worth. I will not die knowing I could've won.  
  
End Flash Back  
  
July 2, 2002  
  
When I was a child, I loved life. Now I hate it. I wait for my Shinigami, who is the God Of Death. I wait for him as I am tortured by my guardian. I wait for him because I want to die. If God was all loving, he would see my suffering and end it all. I stopped believing in him long ago. Now my only savior is Death.  
  
I had that dream again. Of a braided man. He had glowing amethyst eyes and messy brown bangs. His braid reached his lower back and he wore a long black cloak. What always gets my attention is his scythe. It is beautifully crafted and could probably kill me in one swipe. I hope to meet him soon. My Shinigami. The look in his eyes is malicious. When I find him, I know it will end.  
  
July 4, 2002  
  
I know I will die tonight. I am for once in my life fixated with a smile. My cheeks hurt from the strain, but I will smile until I fall asleep. Shinigami will claim me tonight. I await you Shinigami, and until then I will close my eyes and wait for the the eternal slumber that is life, death, and peace all in one. I await you my tormenter, my lover, my keeper. I await your comforting kiss of death. I will meet you. Only in my dreams can I see you, feel you, hold you. Only then, I am comforted and safe. Now I fall asleep, waiting for your comforting arms and passionate words. I am ready now. 15 years and ready. For each of my years, I feel there are ten. Shinigami, take me on your winged back and fly me to Hell. It is Hell here for all I know, and I welcome your world with open arms. This is my last glimpse of daylight. Once again, I await your kiss, your fervent, blessing touch of Eternal Sleep. Good night.  
  
Heero Yuy  
  
How was that ficcy people? I hope you like it. It's angsty. I first wrote it for a Language Arts Project. Well, I may write a sequel id you review!  
  
Chibi Hot Angel 


	2. Shinigami A Child of War

Shinigami- A Child Of War  
  
I am a child of war. Duo Maxwell at your service. I guess I was born somewhere, sometime, and to some one, but I don't remember anything. I know I was orphaned and tossed into the cruel, hard and unforgiving life that is the streets.  
  
The streets are harsh, and that is putting it lightly. I was forced to work the corner to get the bread on the table for my 'family'. We all took turns, but I was a favorite of the customers. Long hair and what most old men would call a pretty face, made me look like a girl.  
  
I kept my hair long for Solo. He said it was my trademark. I was named after him too. Life was as good as street life could possibly get. One day, a plague struck the colony L-2. I lived while everyone died, Solo in my arms. I didn't cry. Boys don't cry.  
  
I wandered the streets for days, stealing for my keep. One day, I picked the wrong pocket. The man I stole from was a priest. The most revered and loved. Father Maxwell.  
  
I stole from him, knocked him down and ran. I didn't know what I stole, but I still ran like the coward I am. The next time I saw him, he caught me, and invited me back to the church. I don't know why, perhaps it was fate, swinging her ever ready scissors and threads of life to meddle in peoples lives, but I went. Here I met Sister Helen. She was beautiful. Her big brown eyes and lovely smile lit up her kind face. She reminded me of the man in my dreams. I didn't know a man could be beautiful, until I saw him in my dreams. He had cobalt blue eyes and thick chocolate hair. I wanted to meet him.  
  
She TRIED to cut my hair. Key word here: Tried. She couldn't get within a 15 meter radius of me with out me running away. Finally, she braided my hair, and since then, nobody has seen me with my hair down except her.  
  
I wore priest clothing and went to school. I got laughed at and teased. I no longer was a happy child. Father Maxwell ans Sister Helen tried to console me, but to no avail.  
  
Then, without warning, while I was at school, the church was bombed. No survivors. I cried. I had found my families remains. Father Maxwell was charred, but Sister Helen was as beautiful as the day I first saw her. I found myself thinking about my dream man. Sister Helen had an envelope in her hands addressed to me. I opened it and read it.  
  
Dearest child, Duo  
  
We knew the church would be bombed. We didn't know when, but we couldn't abandon the church. We put our lives into it, and with out it, we would have died anyway. I am sorry to have left you alone dear Duo. The cross in the envelope is for you. Please carry it forever and until your grave. We love you child.  
  
Father Maxwell, Sister Helen.  
  
Now I am Shinigami. Don't try to get close to me. I kill all those who love me. I know now that I will never cry again. Ever.  
  
I still have the letter, though it's edges are frayed and torn from so many readings. I will carry it to my burial which cannot come fast enough. I know they would scold me for thinking such things, especially Sister Helen, but I need release. I need to die. My body is worn fromt he training and I am a broken spirit.  
  
I did find my dream man. He's, lets see, suicidal? He jumps out of a building 100 stroies up after being shot twice by me, and self destructs. What am I talking about? I can't even do that right. I should take lessons. He ignores me, calls me baka, pulls my braid, but I love him. He is my one and only. My Heero Yuy.  
  
Duo Maxwell, Shinigami.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, what about this? I like it personally. I got bored in LA class. Poor Duo-chan! My poor Duo. Well, things get better. Angsty Q- man(Quatre), Trowa, and Poofy Wufie(Wufei).  
  
Chibi Hot Angel 


End file.
